Of tranquility

something I seem to cannot reach in our house. 🙂 and now i’m smiling. I really am busy watching over babies these days. I wake up when my sister’s baby wakes up. Sheesh, can’t really wait for school to start again! haha

Okay, to be honest, I’m pondering on my negativity again. 22 years of negativity. I’m doubting my purpose again but I’m still here holding on, thinking, “Yes, from time to time, I could probably allow myself to think of these thoughts, but I should be really really careful and shift my thoughts once again to happiness. These are just thoughts anyway, and not reality yet.” Or probably what I think of my reality. So I’m holding on holding on. Mostly I’m mad/angry again with people. Imagining myself in school again thinking if i’m going to be reserved or not. Reserved, I will explain to friends, because I’m building my positive foundation. Like I have to fix myself first, in a positive way. Can’t handle any people for now because I’ve been mostly thinking about other people for the past 22 years and not myself. You get it? So, I have to think for myself now. 🙂 Haaaay, just an update.