Learning to forgive and forget

Yes. I finally know how to easily remove anger from my system. I pray to God.

But then I think i’m not fully healed because I’ve been enjoying drinking alcohol. It’s fun, yes, I don’t know if I’m changed that I’m doing it for fun, or if I have a problem.

Anyway, I wasted a perfectly good Friday night! I was taking notes for a study guide only to find out that the answers to the study guide were available already. Gave up on taking notes because the chapter is sooooo long. Should’ve just read it though.

I have plans for myself, to be a better person that involves money. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to come so I’m saving up for it. I finalize the things I needed to buy for myself, in order so that I wouldn’t have to buy something impulsively or enroll in a gym. Haaaayyyy… but I think I’m okay.

Maybe I’m just sleep-deprived.

I need to read the Bible again. Maybe start yoga in the morning, then jog in place for 30 minutes. :)

Three’s a crowd, make it 4.

So the previous post was just a misunderstanding. Everything’s okay between me and my friend.

Except the other 3 I have blogged about before. Secrets secrets secrets. I felt I was a nuisance, something the cat dragged in. So, I wouldn’t get involved that much with those three. Just a friendly, i don’t know.

Anyway, I’m channeling Elle Woods (from Legally Blonde) now regarding my studies. She is so determined, and kind as well. Well, I hope I get the grades, and be kind as well. :)

Here’s my favorite scene from the movie!

overly disappointed

A dear friend of mine didn’t invite me in her birthday party just because she thought my mom wouldnt allow me anyway so why bother.

And it triggered the falling of baggage.

Resigning from people is the key. I’m tired of smiling, caring, feeling. I’m a med student, I think having no friends just mere acquaintances will help me focus on my studies.

OVER AND OUT.

Stressing right now to prevent stressing next week

I was so anxious a couple of hours ago because of studying for physiology. I have to ace my preliminary exam or else!!! Here is a little history:

On my first take of Physiology A, I got passing (70%) shifting exam scores, and 40% major exam scores. So I failed because the major exams had a higher percentage of the total grade.

I repeated Physiology A, I got passing (70-80%) shifting exam scores and 60% major exam scores. So this time I passed. :)

Now in Physiology B (Oh my God, please Lord, I wouldn’t like to repeat Physio B as well!), I had a 56% and 62% shifting exam scores, and next week is the major exam!!!! SO I HAVE TO GET 80% and above or ELSE!!!!

Topics are: Renal Physiology, intro to endocrine physio, Pituitary Gland, Pancreas, Thyroid, PTH & Ca Metab. So I finished reading Guyton on all of them, except for renal physiology. BUT I’ve only finished writing notes for PTH & Ca Metab, and onto finishing Thyroid…

I was so stressed out a while ago, because I felt the need to race against time. Studying, writing notes, rereading as if the major exam is gonna be tomorrow already. So I needed the company of friends to bring my heart rate to normal. I felt like fainting a while ago!!!

I’m okay now, need to finish Thyroid! :D

Sadness over test scores

I’m not grade conscious but not passing on two shifting exams on physiology is really troubling. I’ve already failed once in this subject I don’t want to fail again. Kulang pa efforts ko, that’s all I need to say to myself to keep my mind on a positive note.

Something has happened today OR I’ve seen something today

I should be the one saying sorry.

I easily judge people, I know this shouldn’t be the case, but right now I’m judging. So, I don’t feel betrayed at all. I’m wondering if I’m disappointed, not sure. But the thing is…

I easily cut people off my life. As easy as 1, 2, 3. I have done it before. I’m not proud of it, but, it’s just me. I’m not as forgiving, really, but I don’t know what to forgive.

Nothing can ever erase what my eyes have seen (except a head trauma of course) :P.

Just thinking of what I’m about to do makes me sad. SNAP! It’s like I’ve forgotten all the other good memories and what’s left is what I have seen. So sorry.

Achievements

My friends and I swam in our school’s pool which cost us P100 each. (to think that our tuition fee is actually x1000, i wish the dean would cut us some slack and offer it for free or half its current price. sheesh) Anyway, we swam for an hour and a half, my body enjoyed the water. I really wanted to be a swimmer, so I just practiced my free style because it’s the only stroke I know, and I have not perfected it yet. I’m still breathless when I do it. Next time, will try to relax and take it slow when gasping for air. :)

BOXING!!!

I did boxing! I enjoyed it! Would swim and do yoga on Thursday! JUST AN UPDATE!!! (I really did enjoy boxing though!!) WOOHOO!!!